Rocking chair thoughts

Sometimes we all turn back and look. At the road we’ve walked down, where we fell where we flew. It all seems a little more amusing that it did at the time, you’re thankful for all the narrow escapes, a little less dismayed at the one that got away, a little wiser and a little older.

I am 27. I am by no means old, but tonight I am sitting at my desk, enjoying the cool December air coming in through my window, glass of wine in hand. Joao Gilberto and Herbie Mann are making some of the most beautiful bossa nova jazz I’ve heard. Things feel different! … we do such injustice to age by defining it with a number.

I got engaged a couple of weeks back, I’m looking at moving into a new apartment with her! … wedding in May. I contemplate a new life ! … with a person I love … its exciting it’s a new journey ! … a few years ago that would have been the only things I could see. Its different when you care for someone deeply … makes me want to be more responsible, grow up a bit. Not in the way my parents have recommended that I grow up for the past decade or so. Grow up in a way … where you realize inside that there’s more to life than there was a little while back. More to care for … more to treasure, more to discover, more to understand. It’s a difficult emotion to express.

I guess it would suffice to say that I am happy. Happy to be a kid at heart, happy to grow up and happy at what I see when I look back and happy that I am going forward with someone who makes the journey that much sweeter! … 18, 27, 40 … does it really matter ? … you’re always growing up anyway … you’re always a kid compared to someone else anyway. Age isn’t a number … you know inside when you grow up. Perhaps … this evening I feel that.

Ok … ive said enough. I need to go finish the FIFA 09 season on Xbox.

Cheers