Laughing it up in Mumbai

It has long been a pet peeve of mine that the average sense of humor in Indian media had never evolved beyond the slapstick shenanigans and not so witty one liners and cliche double meaning suggestive phrases that are in plentiful supply in most films, tv shows and theater dramas. I have long been yearning for the quantum jump in graduating from " pie in the face " jokes to something that tickles a more intelligent funny bone.

Dont get me wrong I've appreciated the " Jine bhi do yaron "s and the " Andaz apna apna "s and the " Golmal "s ( the utpal dutt one ... not the shoddy Devgan flick ). Yet there has been nothing to reflect the generation gap from those flims to more contemporary ones. The same holds true for tv shows and dramas. Hell even most of the good stand up comics of Indian origin had most of their comic wits sharpened and honed abroad. I had all but given up hope on Indian comedy in general. Until the very well informed Mathanki, came up to me one day and said, " hey! theres a Comedy Store in Palladium, Lower Parel. We should go. "

Comedy Store ... The venue thats been graced by the sharp wits of the likes of Eddie Izzard and Paul Merton, was in Mumbai bringing comics from the UK and more importantly promoting local talent !. I had to see this.

I went in expecting a good ol laughs club with beer and rowdy crowds and generally intoxicated people. While this was all true in a way, the crowd was more reminiscent of a night club than a comedy store. I guess everything in Mumbai has to be a little glam !. So i started out the evening with a couple of beers and scarfed down some gourmet pizzas at the cafe inside while waiting for the show to start. Be warned ... If you drink a lot of beer, the restroom is a fair trek from the comedy store. Why they couldn't have a restroom on the premises i have no idea. This significantly cut down on my drinking for the rest of the evening. I was not about to hike a mile just to take a leak again.

By the time the show started the crowds had poured in and for a 10:30 show starting at 11:00 it looked like a full show was on the cards. The show started with Mickey Hutton, who struck me as a veteran comic. He was also the compere for the evening. The jokes were sarcastic, on the spot, well timed and pertinent. They were jokes about India, mumbai its juxtaposition with london and the difference between the people. The jokes were about a modern india and very pertinent to a young crowd. I was hooked. Hutton was brilliant, picking on the front row crowd, which included an embarassed but well humored Dino Morea and family, with a particularly flamboyant gentleman who was wearing something out of the 80s disco collection. ( Mumbai fashion never ceases to amaze ). This fact did not go unnoticed by the comedians.

The canadian Glen Wool had the first set of the evening. The jokes were a little cliche and a bit too much toilet humor for me but funny none the less. Following hutton however seemed like a tough ask of the young comedian.

There was a short set following wool by a local comic, picked out of open auditions. The first name escapes me, but Mr. Pal was noteworthy at least. This delighted me. The jokes obviously were amateurish and still a bit dated. But finally! something other than the overworked dead horse humor from the early 90s ! Thumbs up to the comedy store.

The closing act is usually the best and packs quite a punch. Allistair Barrie is all that and more. He is my favourite type of comic. The witty, angry, cynic. I prefer my ranters with whisky but he decided to go for beer. The rants started with London, its people, british imperialism, Mumbai, its crowd, its disregard for safety, the commonwealth games, politicians and all of it. Barrie was in control and i had to catch my breath from all the laughing. Overall a very satisfying experience and some solace to my heart, for having found a place that i will be sure to visit often. !!

Movies Im waiting to see in 2010

1. Robin Hood : Because I loved gladiator

Ridley Scott
Russel Crowe

Need i say more ? A very dark and very gladiator-esque look at Sherwood's scoundrel.



2. Shutter Island : Because a Scorsese horror film would be worth watching!

Ben Kingsley
Leo Di Caprio
Martin Scorsese



3. Creation : Because Darwin was awesome ! and Origin of Species was one of the most influential books ever.

Jennifer Connely
Paul Bettany



4. The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus

Terry Gilliam of Fear and Loathing and 12 Monkeys fame + Heath ledger + Johnny Depp + Jude Law = One seriously trippy movie.



5. The Tree of Life

Terence Mallick's super under publicised project. The legendary recluse of Days of Heaven and Thin red line fame is bringing up his next movie which stars Brad Pitt and Sean Penn. Considering Sean Penn's choice of projects and the fact that Mallick puts years of work and effort behind each film, this one should be worth the wait.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Tree_of_Life_(film)

6. Where the wild things are

Based on Sendak's dark yet heartening children's story. It reminded me of " The Neverending Story " when i read it. So Im gonna watch this.



7. Iron Man 2

Robert Downey Junior
Mickey Rourke
2!!! flying metal suits
Explosions

nuff said.



8. Inception

Between the Dark Knight and an " un-named batman project " Chris Nolan worked on Inception.

Not much is known about the movie. Its sci-fi and set " in the architecture of the human mind ".

Considering Chris Nolan has made absolutely spectacular films so far, this one is a must.

MALL MADNESS!!

My general aversion to the general populace is no big secret. I am not antisocial ,far from it. I am quite an amiable guy. What I lack seems to be the patience to put up with idiots. Unfortunately most people in the general populace around here have no idea what it means to belong to civilized society.

What brings on this delicious bout of acute irritation? I went grocery shopping in a mall. Pardon the shameless use of the ever so popular OMFG … but

OH MY F*ING GOD.

When Shashi Tharoor speaks of the cattle class … I had no idea he was really taking about people with the social ability of an animal that ruminates for half a day before it can really digest anything. It really has nothing to do with “class“ per say … it has to do with the lack of class.

So in order ease my pain during these visits to grocery hell, I present without further ado.

TOP 5 THINGS PEOPLE CAN DO TO NOT PISS ME OFF AT A GROCER’S.

1. If you haven’t taught them manners, put your children on a leash. Better yet leave them at the bag counter, take a coupon and pick them up on your way out. I am tall and I am more than likely to step on the next gremlin that takes it upon himself or herself to use my legs as an obstacle course. Seriously your next purchase of discount underwear can wait long enough for you to tell your kid.

“ Stop running into people you dolt, its annoying and incase you do … say you’re sorry. Or that tall uncle is going to step on you next time. “

I like kids … really … just not when they’re head butting my shins.

2. Don’t block an entire isle with your shopping cart, your shopping basket and your gi-normous posterior. Seriously, if you’re going to take your time pondering over what your next purchase of table cloth cleaner says about you as a person, make sure you leave enough room in the isle for the OTHER PEOPLE in the mall to walk without having to wait for you to figure out why there is a giant line of people behind you.

3. Got a call on your cell phone ? Girlfriend dumping you ? Wife forgot to ask for toiletries ? Great! A) I don’t wana know B) If you haven’t yet learned to use your brain to handle talking and walking at the same time, get out of my way first then continue with your conversation!. I know its important to communicate in any relationship, just not when you’re standing In front of the last pack of lettuce and Im in the mood for Greek salad. Also if you are texting someone in the middle of the isle while maneuvering your shopping cart … DO IT LATER you numbskull! Either that or grow an extra thumb.

4. If you push down on the handle of your shopping cart, it stops! … Amazing isn’t it ? This little contraption was invented after a lot of effort to save peoples ankles from getting slowly chiseled off by repeated trauma from shopping carts used by a) blind b) retarded c) otherwise mentally disadvantaged people. ( No offense to the mentally handicapped … at least you didn’t have a choice. ) Use brakes please … save the ankle.

5. Don’t make it an outing. Couldn’t find a better place than the grocery store to hang our with friends and family? Really ? … I think its time to contemplate the utter failure of your social life. Why just outside is a café with chairs, a table and some coffee! The perfect setting for some conversation, laughter and social hobnobbing! NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BREAKFAST SECTION!!! I love it that you are so close to your family that you need all of them along to decide which milk is better low fat or skimmed, please realize that while you chose to save your health by consulting your ancestors regarding the best choice of healthy milk, the guy behind you is slowly dying of latent rage issues. Don’t waste my life in a grocery store … please.


Oh yeah … im going to sneak in a 6th point here. ( Sue me you list Nazis ! ).

Don’t cut in line. I don’t care if you bought just 3 items. Not my problem … go buy some more toilet rolls … you’ll never not need them. DON’T CUT IN LINE.

Thanks for making my stay at the grocer’s a more pleasant one. I look forward to buying veggies with you again!.

Recommended!

Ladies and Gentlemen! after a really looooong time ... I've actually come across a bollywood movie that i would recommend to people. This movie was in fact so cool, that i would even recommend that you put in some effort like get a DVD or find a theatre playing it so you can go watch it !.

Im sure its been reviewed and commented on but heck if you're like me and find it difficult to be easily convinced by Indian / International media about the quality of Indian flicks, you probably havent seen this one and you'd be missing something good if you didnt correct that.

If the name didnt give it away, this movie is Anurag Kashyap's quirky take on the classic Indian tale of Devdas. The similarities are noticable but there are well chosen deviations from the original story to change it from a 1900's view of social systems in Bengal to a interesting modern view of existing disparities in social norms, views and stereotypes in a modern Indian society. Anurag Kashyap manages to do this quite well without having to thrust the underlying theme into your face.

Technically the movie is a definite step up for Indian cinema. Editing is classy and to the point . Camera work is edgy and there are even some pointers taken from Guy Ritchie and Terry Gilliam. Music is woven in well and the direction doesnt shy away from the usual taboo of sex, drugs and rock n roll while being able to remain tastefull in its depiction.

Acting is better than most Bollywood films, i wouldnt call it great. I've definitely seen better. I would point out though, that over-acting is very little if not none! This is a big change ... regular viewers of Bollyfilms will agree!.

Lastly ... it is refreshing to find a director and a team that is able to broach subjects that other directors would otherwise shy away from, without turning the movie into a non mainstream movie with no viewership. Its good to see some quirky, non slapstick and yet new humor in Indian cinema and it is certainly good to see a movie that doesnt assume you're too dumb to " get it ".

My congratulations to the movie team and i hope Anurag Kashpyap keeps adding to his long list of impressively different movie making ventures.

PS : To all my non-Indian friends who havent had recommendations from me for a while. Go see this one ... you might enjoy it!

A picture that speaks a thousand words.

Everyday life throws images at you. Images are very powerful things, and i was reminded just how powerful a couple of days back.

Driving on the Mumbai - Pune highway at 6 am, on an unsually dark morning, i came across this sight of the sunrise. The sun peering through buildings under construction ... perhaps abandoned now with companies running out of money. A contradiction perhaps, of a thing so beautiful peircing a picture of incomplete and perhaps in some ways, dark and ominous structures .

A deep breath ... thoughts about life, purpose, hope. Thoughts about love, friends, family. Thoughts about a life left back in a different country. Thoughts about a life begun afresh in this one. Thoughts about people who i had thought i'd forgetten, thoughts about people i was just getting to know.

Funny how a sunrise can mean so much :) ...

It made me strangely happy and strangely nostalgic.

Hey! it made me update my blog!! :).

Rocking chair thoughts

Sometimes we all turn back and look. At the road we’ve walked down, where we fell where we flew. It all seems a little more amusing that it did at the time, you’re thankful for all the narrow escapes, a little less dismayed at the one that got away, a little wiser and a little older.

I am 27. I am by no means old, but tonight I am sitting at my desk, enjoying the cool December air coming in through my window, glass of wine in hand. Joao Gilberto and Herbie Mann are making some of the most beautiful bossa nova jazz I’ve heard. Things feel different! … we do such injustice to age by defining it with a number.

I got engaged a couple of weeks back, I’m looking at moving into a new apartment with her! … wedding in May. I contemplate a new life ! … with a person I love … its exciting it’s a new journey ! … a few years ago that would have been the only things I could see. Its different when you care for someone deeply … makes me want to be more responsible, grow up a bit. Not in the way my parents have recommended that I grow up for the past decade or so. Grow up in a way … where you realize inside that there’s more to life than there was a little while back. More to care for … more to treasure, more to discover, more to understand. It’s a difficult emotion to express.

I guess it would suffice to say that I am happy. Happy to be a kid at heart, happy to grow up and happy at what I see when I look back and happy that I am going forward with someone who makes the journey that much sweeter! … 18, 27, 40 … does it really matter ? … you’re always growing up anyway … you’re always a kid compared to someone else anyway. Age isn’t a number … you know inside when you grow up. Perhaps … this evening I feel that.

Ok … ive said enough. I need to go finish the FIFA 09 season on Xbox.

Cheers

Waking up in Mumbai : 29th Nov, 2008

I woke up at 8 this morning with the sunlight creeping in through drawn curtains to wake me up. The TV in my room was still on … sound turned off. The Taj Mahal Palace in full view; smoke, shards, bullets and blood. It’s a miserable way to wake up, I hadn’t slept well for the past 3 days. Sleeping at 4 am and heading to work at 9.

I’ve never been one to feel much loss or fear. I’ve dealt with deaths in the family before … expected and unexpected. This was different. I did not feel fear … or loss. I felt depressed, angry, frustrated and helpless. I had lost nothing … I live in Thane … no one bombed my house, no one shot my family and yet … something inside hurt as I watched Mumbai turn into a war zone.

Cities are great things. They go through a lot … bombings, terrorism, civil war, riots, strikes … and yet they rise every day … a little more tired and little more beaten up, but just as strong, just as alive and you know whatever great calamity has befallen the city. It is just another scar … which will eventually disappear with time. How is it so that a city’s lifetime far exceeds that of its citizens and Yet each citizen defines the city through his life, actions, attitude and thoughts.

I am a Mumbaiite … not because I live in Mumbai or I was born there or I have friends there. I am a Mumbaiite … because my actions, thoughts, ideas and life are, in many important ways defined by the city and in some small insignificant way, I affect the city too. This is the spirit of a city.

In attacking the Taj, the Oberoi, CST … In killing the people they killed and in the way the terrorists killed them. Their attack was on the spirit of this City. With each bullet they chipped away at every person who identified himself with Mumbai … and with each person they killed they chipped away at the spirit of the city as a whole.

The human spirit is a wonderful thing … there can be no greater example of “ what does not kill you makes you stronger “. This attack makes Mumbai stronger … I wager we will not see Raj Thackrey’s goons beating up North Indians any time soon. I wager we will not see Bandhs and strikes enforced by a lawless political cadre any time soon. They would face a public ire so different if they tried … It would be different because … the common man, who finds himself distanced more from the Nations matters every day … was dragged out of bed and pulled into the bloody mess that was Mumbai on 26th November. An experience like that is not easily forgotten.

It was common men who stayed put at the Taj to ensure the safety of their guests and they didn’t do it to gain political mileage.

It was common men who shielded hostages as they escaped the Trident building.

It was a common woman who saved the life of an infant even as his parents were shot dead.

It was common men doing their jobs as guardians of our freedom who lost their lives. They did not do it to save Maharashtrians, or Mumbaikars, or Hindus or Muslims, they didn’t even do it to save Indians. If you for a moment considered qualifying their sacrifice with such connotations … you’d be doing a disservice to their sacrifice. They laid their lives on the line … purely because it was their duty. There can be no greater example of human courage and strength. These people needed no more motivation than the simple yet powerful sense of honor and duty that binds them. Can there be a greater example of what Mumbai means ?

Tomorrow Mumbai will wake up and walk on as it has before … not because of anything that the politicians will try to tell you. Not because of the glorious Indian tenacity, not because of the Nationalist pride, not because it recognizes sacrifices of its sons etc etc. All that sounds great on a dias. Tomorrow Mumbai will get up and walk as it has before

… because that is what Mumbai does.

My love for this city and my love and respect for people who lost their lives in this incident. Thank you.

Hemant Karkare
Vijay Salaskar
Ashok Kamte
Sandeep Unnikrishnan

and many more

...rest in peace.